


Time to Lay Your Weary Head, Dean Winchester

by DeanCasOTP



Category: Castiel and Dean Winchester - Fandom, Dean/Castiel - Fandom, Supernatural, TheySilencedThem, TheySilencedUs, destiel - Fandom
Genre: CasandDean, M/M, Season 15 Episode 20, TeAmo, TheySilencedThem - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27644321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanCasOTP/pseuds/DeanCasOTP
Summary: My version of the way Supernatural should have ended. Like many people I was extremely disappointed in how TPTB wrapped up the characters.So this is actually a version of an ending I wrote back in 2017 for one of my fics. At the end of Season 13, When Cas died at the hands of Lucifer. I went back through and tweaked it a bit and changed a few characters to suit recent events in the Supernatural universe.SPOILERS!
Relationships: Castiel and Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel, Sam/Eileen
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Time to Lay Your Weary Head, Dean Winchester

Sam woke with a start as he tried to focus on the sound coming from his left and in a slow staccato thoughts he realized what it was.

“Cellphone. It's my cellphone. Vibrating.”

Moving more quickly, Sam reached over and glanced at the name of the caller displayed on the screen.

“Shit!”

His heart now kicked into overdrive, Sam sat up and threw his covers off as he swung his long legs over the side of the bed and placed his feet onto the floor. He swiped the screen to answer the call and then brought the phone to his ear and simply said.

"How bad?"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Sam Winchester pulled his Charger into the circular driveway of the ranch style home he had rented months before and as he reached its apex. He slowed the car to a stop and turned the ignition to off and in the silence he fell back into his seat and stared out at the trees located at the far end of the manicured lawn. He initially wanted to throw open his door and rush in, but something had stopped him. He needed a moment to collect himself and calm his mind. Drumming the key fob on the steering wheel he couldn't help but think how beautiful and peaceful it was up here.

As he thought about his brother and what they had endured together as hunters, Sam felt a tightness begin to grip his chest. He wasn’t ready for this. He knew this day was coming for over a year now. Ever since Dean’s diagnosis, but he thought he would be more prepared, but he wasn’t. With tears threatening again for the hundredth time since starting his journey to Dean early this morning, Sam released a heavy sigh, and reached for the door handle, and as he was about to pull on the lever, he was stopped by the sound of chirping coming from the cell phone laying in the empty seat to his right. Sam reached down and picked up the device and pressed the button to look at the name on his screen. A text from his ex-wife Eileen, asking if he had seen Dean yet. She knew he was on his way up because he had left a message as he made the hour long trip to see his brother.

Sighing he unlocked the screen and opened FaceTime and began to sign.

[Sam] "Here now. Nurse said he had a really bad night. Will get back to you when I see him."

Her reply came quickly

[Eileen] "Ok. Let me know if you need me to come up...or anything."

Sam knew she would drop everything to be with him if had asked her but this visit he felt it had to be just himself and Dean.

[Sam] Okay, I will. Thanks."

[Eileen] "Love you"

[Sam] "Love you too. Give LD a hug for me."

Sam stared at the screen waiting to see if there would be a reply from his ex-wife, Sam briefly thought how much he still loved her and felt the brief twinge of guilt as it flowed through him. Eileen and Sam were able to find each other right after Chuck decided to pull a Thanos, and wipe everyone from the planet with a snap of his fingers...except for Dean and himself. But, after Jack took out Chuck, and returned the human population. Sam had dropped Dean off at the bunker and then, without listening to Dean’s insistence that he stay and get patched up. Sam immediately steered Eileen’s Plymouth straight to her house to see if she was back as well. Sam knew as he drove that Eileen meant more to him then just a girlfriend. Sam hated the thought of losing Dean to Chuck. It was too scary to even consider, but when he thought about never seeing Eileen again. Well, those thoughts were terrifying, and it was then that Sam knew he wanted Eileen in his life, permanently. But, overtime and because of the Hunter life. They came to a mutual conclusion that though they drifted apart and things became difficult. Sam wished they could have made it work out better between them. Sam had even hoped that when Dean Robert Winchester or as they called him Little Dean or Little D. had come into the world nineteen years ago. He had hoped things would be different but the difficult life of a hunter was not going to be overcome by the birth of a child.  
And ultimately, they just weren't able to get it together enough to stay married but they were still close and even had a friend's with benefits type of relationship on occasion, but marriage to each other? Well, that was pretty much not an option. Though she did eventually give marriage one more failed try.

Sam decided for his line of work, staying single was probably the best thing for him. But it was Dean's illness that seemed to have brought them closer than they had been before.

Dean was dying. Sam has not found it any easier to cope with those three words. What made accepting it even worse is the fact that even though he is surrounded by lore and books of magic and healing.  
There was nothing, no spell, no bargain...nothing that he could do to prevent it from happening.

They had found out about Dean's cancer over a year ago. It had all started when he had first noticed the rash on his forearm on the morning of his sixty-fifth birthday and at the time. In typical Dean fashion it had gone ignored and in fact he had just figured it was just another sign he was getting old.  
So he spread some ointment on it from the med-kit and didn't give it another thought. Other than to keep slathering ointment on it in hopes it would eventually go away.

It was only later when Sam had finally noticed the constant scratching by his brother and had become irritated enough to demand to see what was causing him to almost dig a hole in his arm. Dean had reluctantly pulled his jacket sleeve back and pulled off a bandage spotted with dried blood, and it was at that time they both saw the rash together and what it had come to resemble, The Mark.

The Mark of Cain was clearly outlined in a rash that had become scabbed over in several places because of Dean's constant scratching. Trying to pass it off as nothing to worry about and Dean's stubbornness at making a big deal out of it. Sam agreed to let the matter drop but only with the promise if he noticed it getting worse, Dean was to let Sam know right away or at the very least - have a doctor examine it.  
Looking back, Sam realized that he should have pushed the matter and now he carries the guilt for not doing so and it was a couple of months later that the fever and coughing fits had begun.

"It's just the flu" Dean had said but Sam was suspicious and after a week had nearly had passed with no improvement in his brother's health. Sam insisted on Dean going to the doctor to get checked out and after several blood tests and trips to one specialist after another, the confirmed diagnosis was: cancer.  
They had learned on their final visit to a specialist in Topeka, that it had already spread to his lungs and liver. Still they hoped it could be treated but 4 months later, after his first seizure and a scan of his brain, the spots found in the soft tissue confirmed what they already new in their guts. Dean was going to die and it wasn't going to take long to do so.

Dean tried to wisecrack his way out of expressing his true emotions about the sentence he had just been given and for Sam, it became the blackest day in his life. After leaving the doctor's office they stopped at the first bar they saw and after a few beers they had entered into deep discussions about life and death and everything that came afterwards. They already knew about the veil and heaven and laughed at the fact that they were on a first name basis with God...or Jack. So Dean was okay with everything and would then turn the topic about how he would see Cas again.

Years before, Castiel had been sent to the Empty because of a bargain he had made to save Jack, a nephilim. Cas’ bargain was unknown to the brothers, but when Billie, the new death had tricked them all into helping her in trying to usurp God. Cas knew what he had to do in order to save himself and Dean from Death’s clutches. He had to be happy, so he confessed his love for Dean. Which in turn had completed the bargain Cas had made to free Jack. Then with an oily darkness the Empty honored the bargain by swallowing Cas, and as his actions had planned, Billie as well. Thus, saving Dean and allowing for Jack to defeat his grandfather-God. Cas’ true happiness was Dean.

After all was said and done, Chuck was just a mortal human again, Jack became the new God, people were snapped back into creation. Cas was pulled from the Empty and returned to Jack’s side and assisted the new God in his efforts to put order back in the universe, Dean and Sam had returned to the hunting life. Although Sam now had Eileen in his life, Sam began to notice that Dean had become different, more distracted. This distraction had become a liability during one of their hunts to clear out some vamps in a barn. One of the vamps had made a sudden move, old Dean would have handled it easily, distracted Dean had been pushed and he barely walked away after coming this close to being impaled on a metal rod. Sam had had enough, and he finally confronted his brother about his current state. Dean had simply stated that everything is fine, Sam pressed his brother for more and Dean finally relented and gave Sam the whole story behind Cas, the Empty and Billie’s defeat. Sam had known for years that Castiel had feelings for his brother and Sam also knew that his brother, overtime had fallen for the angel. But Dean’s personal demon’s and sense of martyrdom prevented him from saying or displaying any of those feelings to Cas. Sam watched the two men dance around the issue on multiple occasions and found himself struggling to remain on the sidelines. When what he really wanted to do was grab them both read them the riot act about how they felt about each other. Forcing the two men to finally face up to what they both want, each other. Instead, Sam held back and relied on hope instead, he had hoped that his brother’s sense of martyrdom wouldn’t prevent him from saying the words that he wanted to say to the angel, but time ran out for both of the stubborn men. This battle against Chuck began to heat up, deals were made and any chance for Dean or Cas to finally admit their feelings disappeared. Well, for Dean anyway. Cas before being taken by the Empty confessed his love for Dean, and Dean by his own admission to Sam, had waited until it was too late to say “me too”. Sam felt bad for his brother. He had on more than one occasion caught his brother calling Cas’ cell phone just to hear the angel’s voice. So Sam decided it was time to talk, and to do that he knew they were going to need beer. Probably lots of it, and so over time and more than a few beers and on multiple occasions. Dean had opened up more about what he felt for Cas, and Sam for his part played therapist and let his brother talk. 

After a few months, Dean seemed to return to his normal self, and they went about their hunting business. Then one day, Dean’s demeanor changed again. He seemed happier and more relaxed then he ever had been since the battle with Chuck. Sam had asked him about it his sudden change in outlook, and all Dean would say was that Cas was back in heaven with Jack, and when he sleeps he can see Cas. Sam nearly fell off the chair he had been sitting on. “What do you mean you see Cas” Dean took a sip of his coffee and with a rueful grin on his face. Dean admitted that through something like their own private angel radio, that sometimes, Cas visits him and they talk, amongst other things, and Dean pretty much ended their discussion with. “And Sam, I am happy”

Sam for his part did have mixed feelings at times for his brother's choice of remaining alone and faithful to Castiel. Because it also meant that Dean would never look for companionship here in the mortal world and would probably be alone for the rest of his life. Sam found it difficult to believe despite Dean's protests to the contrary, that he could be happy and when he tried to bring up the subject of Dean finding someone to be with here on earth. Dean would cut him off and tell him that he did not understand how it was with him and Cas. And overtime, Dean had become more open with Sam in an effort to assuage Sam's concerns and even confessed how their time was spent together while Dean slept. How Dean even though he is asleep, he feels like Cas is with him, not just a dream, but really “I can reach my hand out and touch him” together. Dean even went on to imply that more was done during these visits, and Sam for his part would hold his hand up and prevent his brother from going on. So, Sam let the matter go.

The opening of the large front door caught Sam's eye and with a final glance at his message app to make sure there hadn't been anything else from Eileen. Sam grabbed the door handle of his Charger and climbed out to greet the two men exiting the building.  
Steve and his husband Justin, one a doctor the other a nurse. Were called upon by Sam after he had searched through the Hunter Network for a medical team with whom he could trust to take care of his sick brother. He had been given the duo's name by a hunter out of Memphis and after vetting the pair. He made a call to see if they could come up to Kansas and help him with Dean. Though both men balked at taking on a commitment like this when Sam initially contacted them. They had quickly changed their minds when they found out their patient was to be the hunter: Dean Winchester. They had instantly agreed and wanted Sam to know how honored they were at his seeking them out. So, Sam rented this secluded home located on twenty acres surrounded by trees, semi-manicured grounds with large man-made lake located just a short walk down a paved walkway. And after warding the place to the hilt, they took up residence and the lake it turns out had become Dean's favorite place to go. 

Extending his hand to shake each man's hand, Sam wasn't really wanting to spend time on pleasantries. He wanted to know everything about his brother's night. So he jumped right in with the questions.

“How is he?”

“Quiet now.” Justin replied. “I gave him some morphine for the pain and so now he seems to be okay. Calmer.

“And last night?”

Steve who was Dean's acting doctor, added “It was bad. He seemed really upset about some event that occurred between himself and his friend Castiel.”

“Was he with Castiel?”

Both men already knew of the legend behind the Winchester brothers and their partner Castiel, the Guardian Angel but it had been Sam who gave them the whole story behind Cas and Dean's relationship. He felt that they would need to fully understand how Dean's connection to Cas worked and by doing so. They could suss out what was reality versus what more recently, would turn out to be Dean's increased dementia related hallucinations. Being in the Hunter community helped prevent any shock at the revelation by the two men.

Dean had more than once become agitated, and Dean had called Sam more than few few times in the middle of the night complaining that Cas had stopped coming by to see him. He was convinced that Cas was upset about being evicted after becoming human. Dean had evicted Cas from the bunker but it had happened decades before but to Dean. He spoke as if it happened more recently.  
Sam suspected it had more to do with Dean's illness and the tumors currently ravaging his brain. Which more than likely was interrupting whatever connection Dean and Cas maintained together. He tried to explain to Dean that he didn't think Cas was mad at him for kicking him out of the bunker all of those years ago but it did little to help Dean forgive himself.

“No. We are pretty sure he was alone. Last night was more like he was having a nightmare. Crying out for Castiel. Wanting him to come back...begging. He was really quite upset.”  
Both men paused and looked at each other. They had cried afterwards when they saw the emotional toll the fit had taken on the famed hunter.

Steve continued “Afterwards, though he had another seizure and it was much longer than any of the others. We didn't really know if he was going to come back from it. That's why I called you so late last night. He was out of it for quite a long while and only just woke up a short time ago.” He paused and swallowed looking at Sam. Sam suddenly felt afraid and the nod he gave the man urged him to continue.

“He um... He asked us to call you. Wanted us to make sure you came early. He was very weak but I told him you were already on your way and that is when he asked us to take him down to the water to wait for you. Sam. It's not good. There is bleeding and I have done what I can...maybe if we take him to an actual hospital.”

“Is he in pain or is he suffering?”

“No." Justin answered a heaviness in his voice "the morphine should be helping with any pain but as for suffering. He is talking about Cas again and after one of those bouts. He just withdraws into himself like he is trapped in the memories and there is no real indication he knows we are there with him." The nurse paused and with gravity in his voice he added "Sam, he is very weak now.”

“Do you really think a hospital will keep him from” up until now, Sam had been trying to sound confident and resolute in his questioning. Sam's voice finally broke when he said the last word “dying?”

Steve looked at Justin who reached out and took his hand and as one they turned to face the taller man and it was Justin who answered. “No, we don't believe they will. At most, a hospital may keep him comfortable but with the hemorrhaging and seizures. We believe he could go at any time.”

“Then no hospital. We will stay here and that is it.”

Making their way down the path towards where Dean had been taken. The men continued to fill Sam in on the night's events and everything they did to try and comfort his brother. Sam for his part truly grew to appreciate both men and the situation that he had placed them in. Making a mental note to make sure he compensated them generously for their efforts.

Finally reaching a small curve in the path, Sam could see at the bottom of a gentle slope a man wrapped in blankets sitting on a wide rattan chair and the sight of his older brother sitting alone nearly broke Sam's heart.

Dean had been a strapping six foot two man with an athletic build and it was all topped off with chiseled good looks and piercingly beautiful green eyes. Or so the women Dean had once dated before Castiel, would often say. But now as he sat wrapped up in the white hospital blankets. The form underneath appeared small and almost childlike. Dean now topped out according to his chart at 155 lbs.

Sam turned to thank both men and after shaking their hands once more. He continued down the path on his own and rapidly closed the distance between himself and where Dean sat waiting.

As he got closer to his brother, Sam could hear Dean's voice. Guiltily, Sam halted his approach and listened.

“Damn it Cas. I said I was sorry so why can't you come home to the Bunker. Back to me. I miss you buddy. I miss us.”

His brother had grown silent. His head tilted upwards as if listening to a reply. Sam was unsure if it was real or not and at this point, Sam reckoned it didn't matter anymore.

"Cas...please" Dean was looking down, sadness in his voice was piercing Sam's heart "It was the worst moment of my life Cas. Doing that to you...." Dean looked up and then around as if whoever had been standing there had gone. Again with heartbreaking anguish in his voice Dean called out "Cas...Cas?" Then Dean dropped his chin down to his chest and Sam heard his brother say in a ragged whisper "Please, Cas. I love you. Please forgive me."

Sam swallowed hard. He felt his eyes swelling with tears. Taking a cloth from his back pocket he quickly wiped his eyes and shoved it back into hiding. Then began taking exaggerated steps in order to make sure his brother heard his approach and as he came to stand next to the man he had grown up admiring and loved as much as any brother could be loved. He said softly not sure if he wanted to interrupt his brother who seemed so obviously lost in his memories.

"Hey Dean"

Dean sat still, lost in his own foggy thoughts and though he vaguely registered the stranger's arrival. He didn't respond to the intrusion.

“How are you today? “

The question sounded lame to Sam's ears but he was trying to force himself to sound upbeat for his brother's sake. He placed his hand on Dean's shoulder and had begun to squeeze but stopped before his fingers could fully contract. He was shocked at the feel of the bony outcropping of Dean's shoulder. Gone were the large muscles that once covered his upper body, Dean had even pulled away at his touch. Sam feared he had squeezed too hard.

Taking a seat on the large ottoman that sat next to his brother's chair. Sam pulled the satchel he had been carrying up over his head and placed it on the ground at his feet and he continued his one sided conversation with his brother. He was used to this part. Dean would often disappear into himself after one of his arguments with Cas.

"Everyone back at the bunker says hello and little D" Sam took a quick glance when he mentioned his son's nickname. "Little D, he sends his love and wanted you to know he was sorry he couldn't come this trip"

Sam once again glanced over to see if Dean reacted. The mention of his nephew would almost always get some response from his brother. Even in his deepest fugue state as he appeared to be now. Nothing. It did not deter Sam from continuing.

"He also wanted me to tell you that we couldn't call him Little D anymore." Adding a small chuckle to his voice. "He now tops out at six foot two and a half inches. Which, according to him. Makes you officially Little D."

"Little D" the name sounded familiar and it made Dean feel good when he heard it. Forcing himself to focus on the stranger's voice he slowly got his mind to push the fog that seemed to be gripping him and tried to remember why that name seemed important. A reply came to him and with intense concentration he mumbled

"I can still kick his ass. Just remind him of that" the words came naturally to his lips Dean wasn't sure why.

Sam smiled when he heard his brother's raspy voice mutter his retort. He and Little D were always close and Dean had been the greatest Uncle to Little D. Though, Sam would have wished for something different for his son. He knew that his son would become a hunter and Dean had been one of the biggest influences in his young life.

"He also wanted me to tell you that the Impala had to get a new engine and that he with the help of some friends were able to get the job done. And the car sounds as bad-ass as ever."

His Nephew. Now he remembered. He had a nephew. A smile came to his lips as he was now swimming free of the fog and the stranger next to him. Sam. His brother Sam was here.

"Hi Sam." turning his head slightly he looked up into his brother's face. Why doesn't that boy age he wondered. Swallowing trying to get his dry throat to work he continued "How long have you been sitting there?"

"Oh, I just got here. So not long"

Dean nodded. His throat is still too dry to talk. Finally after several minutes of silence Dean asked

Where's Cas? He said he was going to be here. Have you heard from him?"

“No Dean. I haven't seen Cas for awhile." Which was true. 

Dean opened his mouth to speak but instead it seemed to trigger a phlegm filled coughing fit. Sam got up and held his brother as he doubled over and fought through the coughing. Little specks of blood and mucus had become evident on the white blanket. When his brother seemed to get things under control, Sam grabbed the corner of the blanket and used it to wipe his brother's sweating face and cleared the blood from around his lips.

"You Ok?” stupid question.

Nodding Dean said "my throat, a little dry." This triggered Sam to remember he had brought his brother his favorite beverage. When Sam came to visit he never failed to bring Dean at least one of his favorite things. This time it had been a Longneck.

Opening the satchel that lay on the ground Sam pulled the beer from the bottom and twisted the cap off and handed it to his brother.

Dean smiled, Sam noticed the blood still coating some of his teeth as he reached out to take the offered present from his brother. Sam for his part was alarmed by the amount of shaking he saw in the outstretched hand. It had never been so bad before.

Thin fingers wrapped around the neck and began to pull it from his grasp. Sam allowed his hand to be pulled along with the beverage. He wasn't sure if the grip from his brother was strong enough to hold the bottle and Dean must have felt the same way. He had shaken his other hand free of the blanket and wrapped it around the body of the bottle and with both hands clutching tightly he brought the beverage up to his lips.

It was a little warm and to Dean the taste was a little too bitter. Damn, was his favorite brand too. They must have had a bad batch he reasoned. Still it did help to make the dry feeling in his throat a little better.

“Thank you Sammy"

“No problem”

“Sam. Where is Cas?”

Deciding to be vague in an effort to keep from triggering Dean “Cas, went out to research some lore for me”.

“Alone? You can't let him go alone Sam. You know he’s like a puppy and without his grace. He's going to get in trouble.”

“Don't worry Dean. I sent a couple of good hunters with him to watch over him.” Sam went along with his brother's memory. He learned just to play along. Anything, to keep him calm

“So is Eileen and Little D going to visit? I miss them” Everything came out of Dean in a whisper. Sam had to lean close in order to catch his words.

“Yeah Dean. They will come soon.”

“Remind me to play some of my Zeppelin to Little D, I want him to grow up listening to the good stuff.”  
Sam laughed and said “No problem.”

Dean had played his son his collection of classic rock since day one. He had come home once to uncle Dean babysitting and Little Dean asleep in his crib with Stairway to Heaven playing softly from a vinyl record collection that Dean had started after they found an old record player in one of the Bunker's many storage rooms. Dean had it on repeat. Sam remembers watching fascinated as the arm would reach the end of the song and lift then swing back and gently lower itself back on the thin starting line that marked the beginning of the song's track.

“Don't want him listening to that pop-chart crap you like.”

The boy refused to listen to anything other than uncle Dean's classic music collection in the Impala. Dean had spent years teaching his nephew all that he knew when it came to taking care of his Baby and that included the right music to play on her old tape deck. Then one day when he nearly wrecked the car after he experienced one of his black outs. Dean had tossed the keys to his nephew and told him it was his turn to take care of her. That she had been always been there when he and his father had needed her most and that she deserved to be taken care of by Little Dean, under his father's watchful eye of course. LD, who was seventeen at the time was so proud that his uncle had given him the keys but later that night. When the reality of why he got the keys sunk in, LD had come to him with tears in his eyes and it was the first time he shared a beer with his son and they talked about life...and what it meant to live the life of a hunter as a Winchester.

Dean was talking again and it was readily apparent his recent bout of lucidness was gone. Sam had once observed a warped vinyl record on Dean's record player. The arm had skipped around and made no sense as it touched down in different parts of the warped edges of the record. Jumbling the songs together into an incomprehensible mix of nonsense, but the smooth parts played crystal clear. This was Dean's memory now and Sam had learned to just let it play out and listen when Dean was like this.

"Sam, don't trust Crowley...okay. He always has some game he is playing." Sam settled in for his role in Dean's memory.

"Yep. Don't worry Dean. I have a demon trap and the holy water ready to go."

Dean nodded his approval but added "Sam, don't forget your knife though. The evil bastard has been known to double cross us before."

Sam smiled. Crowley had actually died trying to do good. He killed himself with an Angel blade in an effort to trap Lucifer in an alternative universe. Though Sam had never really trusted the guy. His act of selflessness had changed his opinion of him...a little. And besides, Sam had to admit he sort of missed the former King of Hell.

"I got it"

Silence.

"Sam?"

He was back. He could hear it in Dean's voice. It was clear, strong and steady...steadier then had been in a long while.

“Yes Dean.”

“I am proud of you. What you did with the Bunker...organizing all of the hunters. Bobby would be proud of what you did too"

Sam no longer hunted much. He had assumed a role much like the one the man they had come to consider as their other dad Bobby Singer once held. As the new organizer for the hunters and with the entire library of the Bunker at his disposal and some upgrades to communications. Sam had become highly efficient in mobilizing hunters and being able to react quickly in an effort to reduce the threat from all manner of evil.

Sam replied wistfully “I hope so Dean.”

“Yeah, he would be. Listen when I go, I want you to make sure I get my hunters funeral though. I want a huge pyre. Okay? But I want it where we did Moms, I want my ashes to be scattered.” Dean said this as he reached thin fingers up and clasped the amulet Sam had made for him in memory of Cas.

“Okay, Dean.”

“I loved him so much, Sam, and I never got to tell him. I didn’t know how.” Dean's voice took on a slight tremble “I thought I wouldn't be able to go on. But then when he spoke to me in my dreams. I always felt better. Do you think he was there...I mean really there with me?”

Based on his question. Sam sensed his brother was beginning to slip away again.

“Yeah Dean. Of course. He loved you and I have no doubt he wouldn't do everything he could to try to see you.”

Dean nodded as if satisfied by his answer. After a brief pause Dean took a sidelong glance at his brother and said. “That demon-blood really worked out for you. You still look like a kid.”

Startled by the change in direction of their conversation. Sam gave a side-long smile at his brother. Sam knew it was a kind of running joke between the brothers, but Sam now felt guilty about the remark coming from Dean. Except for some grey hair the process of aging had slowed for him and after researching lore. They came to the conclusion it was mostly from the demon-blood he had consumed. So for him drinking demon-blood he had been rewarded..in a way. And for Dean. His reward for his efforts to save the world? He received a death sentence from a scar he wore almost thirty years ago.

"That's because I ate salads while you ate burgers and pie"

“Pie!”

“Did you bring me any pie?”

“No Dean. I forgot I'm sorry.”

“That's okay. I'm not really that hungry. It just sounded good for a second.”

Sam glanced down and it hit him that except for that first sip Dean hadn't touched the beer he still held clutched in both hands. It was the first time he had ever seen Dean not try to drink his first beer of the day in a single gulp.

“Sam, you won't be able to keep Dean Robert from becoming a hunter. You know that right?

“I know. He has already been tagging along on some simple hunts. I make him stay back but he is a lot like you. His gut instincts. I hate to admit they are usually good ones. He fights like you do and sometimes, I see you when he tries to use his Winchester charm on his mother and the ladies to get his way.”

Dean actually burst out laughing at the last bit of news. Flecks of blood appearing again. Sam repeated his earlier steps of wiping them from his brother's lips. Dean became frustrated and tried to push Sam's hand away and with an annoyed tone said “Leave it, Sam”

Sam pulled away tinged by a little hurt and then sadness. Dean continued.

"Yeah, and when he has Baby purring like a kitten...you and Eileen are going to have to keep an eye on him. Make sure he has protection...more than just a sawed-off with rock salt"

Attempting to keep his voice steady Sam answered “Yeah, we got that covered too.”

"Man, we had some fun back in our prime as hunters. We were good weren't we Sam?”

“The best Dean. And yes we did have some fun.” This is the longest conversation they have had in quite a while Sam thought to himself as he replied. He hoped it would never end.

“Oh boy, Sam. You should have been there Castiel came into our lives. Sparks flying, taking Bobby out with his touch. That's when things got really crazy and who would have thought one of our friends would turn out to be the King of Hell?”

Sam smiled at Dean as he called Crowley their friend when only moments ago he had been warning him about trusting the evil bastard.

“Yeah man. The guy sacrificed himself for us..for humanity. He deserves to be called a friend. Crowley had his moments. I am not denying it. But damn. When it came time. He stepped up and did a big thing for us. So yeah, I'd call him my friend and you should too Moose."

Dean said Sam's given nickname from the King of Hell with his best imitation of Crowley's voice and accent.

Sam chuckled at the attempt.

"Yes, Dean. I do consider what he had done and when the hunters ask about that day. Well, I always make sure they understand what Crowley did, and his mother Rowena. I even converted one of the libraries into a room specializing in demon lore and I named it after Crowley himself. I did the same for Rowena and the room that is now dedicated to witch lore.

Dean nodded. “If I ever see Crowley I will let him know. He will become insufferably pleased with himself but happy I think."

The silence returned. Sam could tell the latest spate of conversation from his brother had worn him out. In fact, Sam thought that Dean had dosed off but then the silence was broken.

"Sam."

Sam's concern for Dean's voice had returned to sounding weak was barely above a ragged whisper.

“Yes, Dean"

"Can I go home now?"

Sam looked over at his brother. He tried to keep the swelling wetness from forming in his eyes and his voice steady. He didn't want to answer his brother but after a brief pause he began to try.

“Dean..."

“I want to go home and be with everyone that I love. Call Cas tell him we are coming. I want him with me. Why won't he come to me anymore?"

Sam stared at his brother and cleared his throat as he tried to swallow the sadness that was overwhelming him. Finally, knowing what he had to do, Sam quickly swiped at his eyes with his fingertips and got up from his seat to turn and fold his large frame into a squat in front of the chair containing his brother and after taking a ragged breath to calm himself. Sam faced his brother and asked.

"You want to go home, Dean?”

“Please, Sam. This place is filled with demons and wraiths. I need to go home. I need to be with Cas. I miss him so much. I want to hug him. I want to feel his lips on mine."

Sam looked into the green eyes across from his own. They were now a little duller and Sam thought they had begun to look a little filmy. He knew what he had to say to his brother.

“Okay, Dean. Yes. You can go home. I am sure Cas is there, I will even bet you that he is waiting for you right now.”

Dean smiled “You think he is? You think he has forgiven me?”

“I know he is waiting and yes, I think he has forgiven you, Dean. He loved you very much and I am sure that when you see him. He his going to grip you tight and never let you go this time.”

“That's good. That is really good. But before you take me to him, I need to rest a bit okay?”

“Yep. Sure thing. I will just sit here and you let me know all right?”

Dean gave a little nod as his reply.

Sam sat back on his seat and then brought his long arm over and draped across his brother's shoulders and he just stared out over the water and watched a momma duck as she led her chicks out onto the lake. He could feel the shallow breaths being taken by Dean as his arm moved imperceptibly with each intake of air.

Sam was not sure how much time had passed because he had closed his own eyes as he had become a little drowsy himself and it was the soft thud of the beer bottle hitting the ground under his feet that stirred him awake. Looking down, he saw the amber liquid as it flowed from the opening of the bottle. Instinctively, he reached down to pick it up and hand it back to Dean with a joke about Dean Winchester spilling a beer on his lips but when he looked up at his brother the words stopped.

He realized his brother had folded himself a little more forward...in an almost uncomfortable position. His head was resting at an angle making his chin touch his collar bone. Sam's mind at first did not register what had happened started to reach up thinking to himself that Dean could not possibly be comfortable in that position. His hand stopped mid-air. His breath became caught in his throat cutting off a small groan.

Dropping the bottle back to the ground, Sam got up and fell onto his knees in front of Dean's chair and clutched his brother's hands. Dropping his head over his beloved brother lap. He said with a breaking voice and brimming tears beginning to fall.

"You're home now, Dean.”

Dean woke up with a start and quickly realized he had fallen asleep holding his beer and apparently dropped it. Damn it!” He pushed himself forward in the chair he was in and bent down to snag it up before too much of the dark amber liquid spilled on to the ground.

"What the..." Dean paused and sat straight up looking at his fingers. He just watched as his hand went right through the glass neck of the bottle. Giving a small laugh of disbelief, Dean began to lean forward again when suddenly a figure crossed his line of vision and bent down to pick up the bottle. It was Sam.

“Hey, Sam. Did you just see that? My hand...” before he could continue talking to his brother Dean heard a familiar voice off to his side.

"Hello, Dean!"

Dean couldn't believe who he was seeing when he looked over and up into the blue-eyes of the man he loved, into the eyes of Castiel. A grin spreading across his own he replied

"Cas? Is it really you?"

With his dropped beer and seemingly mysterious hand through the bottle forgotten. Dean Winchester, with a vigor he hadn't felt in ages, launched himself out of his chair and flew into the angels arms and began to kiss him with abandon and Castiel quickly returned the favor. With his curiosity getting the better of him Dean pulled away just enough to look at Cas but not enough to release him from his embrace. Dean a grin on his face asked.

"Did you just get back? Where have you been? You have to say hi to Sam!" before Dean could turn to look behind him Cas held Dean firmly against him and replied softly.

"Dean, Sam can't see me"

"Why? He's right here behind me. Of course...." something in Cas' eyes made him stop. His smile faltering it was then that he noticed the young man standing slightly behind, Dean knew right away what he was, a Reaper. A sad smile played on the reapers lips.

"A reaper?" Cas why is he here?" Ever protective, even in eternity, Dean addressed the reaper with a little confusion mixed with anger resonating in his voice. "You stay away from Cas. You hear me?" Castiel gave Dean a little squeeze with his arms. They were wrapped around Dean's waist and he wanted his attention back. Then he moved both hands up to Dean's face and placed one one each side and with a gentle tug, he forced Dean to look back into his own, Cas spoke.

"Dean. This reaper isn't here to harm anyone. He came with me to get you."

"Me?"

"Yes, Dean. We are here for you." And with his last words Castiel gently pushed Dean's face so that he could see what was occurring behind him and that is when Dean saw Sam.

Dean suddenly felt a sense of peace and warmth begin to form at his core and slowly it began to radiate outwards. His brother Sam was kneeling in front of an old man. His head was buried in his lap, clutching the hands in his own. Dean could tell Sammy was crying by the shaking of his shoulders.

Breaking free from Castiel's embrace Dean took a few steps towards his brother. "Cas, why is Sammy crying for that old man?" There was no answer from behind.

Staring at the scene playing out before him, Dean Winchester realized the old man looked familiar and with a slow dawning he understood. He was looking at himself. Sammy was crying for him. Castiel walked up and from behind he placed his arm around Dean and Dean for his part tilted his head and let it fall against Cas' shoulder and said "Poor Sammy".

Just as Dean's words for Sam left his mouth. They watched as Sammy easily picked up the empty vessel that once held the soul of Dean Winchester and began to walk back up the path with his body held tightly against his chest.

Dean thought it strange that he didn't really feel anything about seeing his body carried away by his brother. He looked over at Cas and asked "am I going to be in heaven now Cas? With you?"

Castiel smiled and said "Everyone gets their own version of heaven, remember? And if that is yours then…Yes, Dean. I would like to be with you in yours" Dean smiled and leaned in to press his lips against Castiel's soft ones. He could only think about how much he missed them and how wonderful it was going to be with Cas again.

There was a clearing of a throat behind Castiel and at first he thought it had come from the reaper, but when he peaked around Cas, after sneaking another kiss in. Dean was surprised by the people who now stood a few yards away. His parents: John and Mary, Jo and her Mom, Bobby was there...and there was...

"Jack? Is that really you? You mean my dying even brought Jack here? "

A nodding Jack replied. “I couldn't miss this Dean. You have meant so much to me, to us all and everything you have done it was the least I could do and when it is Sam's time. I will do the same for him as well.”

Looking at Cas with amazement Dean Winchester couldn't help but give a small laugh and before anyone could speak further, a voice broke through his moment of joy. A deep foreboding voice with an accent he couldn't quite place resonated through his chest causing him to lose his smile and look over at a man who had been standing apart from the main group.

"Hello, Dean!" The thin sharp face of Death himself looked at Dean with steady dark eyes. Which to Dean it looked as though there was some menacing anger hidden in them. "What? No pickle chips?"

Dean swallowed hard and then tried his best “can't we let bygones” smile as he said “Hey...Death. Um, you're looking good.”

"Yes, and no thanks to you.” Death then glanced first towards Castiel then Jack. His meaning was clear. 

Dean looked over at Jack as well but with more of a question written on his face.

Jack was quick to provide the answer for him.

"Yes. Well, Cas and I worked together to bring him back from the Empty." With a moment's pause as if to gather his thoughts, he continued:

"Um, we needed him. Seems things here on earth and in Purgatory, Heaven. Well, pretty much everywhere tends to get out of whack when Death isn't around so." Jack took a dramatic pause "it took a while and it took a lot out of me. But we got this version of Death back from the Empty, and things are pretty much back to normal" glancing at Death. Jack added almost as an afterthought. “We brought this version of Death back because really. He was the only one who did the job correctly. All the other reapers seemed to have been under the influence of Billie and I just didn’t want to risk any problems.” 

Dean looked over at Cas who had moved in closer and smiled "You see Dean. Everyone is here for... you." Castiel placed his hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed."They wanted to be here to make sure you were okay."

Dean turned and grabbed Castiel's face in both hands and gave him another small kiss and whispered  
"As long as you are here with me. Everything will be perfect." Castiel smiled and began to lean in for another round of long languid kissing when the sound of someone clearing his throat interrupted them.

Castiel rolled his eyes and said "I almost forgot. There is someone else who wanted to be here." Dean followed the direction of Castiel's eyes and saw a familiar figure dressed in an all black Armani suit.

"Hello, Squirrel. Longtime no see."

"Crowley!" Dean looked at Cas in confusion "Man, what in the..." Dean caught himself "What are you doing up here? We are in heaven, right?”

Crowley with his hands tucked into his pockets glanced just as Death had only moments before towards Jack.

Who once again supplied an answer "Yes. You ...We are. And Crowley is here because Lucifer wanted him in the Empty with him, and I thought that was a really bad idea. Besides, my father is a dick. I realize that now and having Crowley in Heaven would really make him angry, I think. So, I decided I would review his file and I took into consideration all of the good things he has done like sacrificing himself in an attempt trap Lucifer and I made the executive decision and brought Crowley up to Heaven. Well, almost to heaven, I have him helping out at the gates. You know sorting out souls coming out of the Veil."

Dean looked over at Crowley the nod of approval and a small shrug "Well, hey Crowley. Good for you."

Crowley nodded “Not quite like being the King of Hell but the perks are nicer.” At Dean’s questioning look Crowley added “Fewer morons and less paperwork”

Dean nodded his head in a less than convinced way “Well, that’s awesome!”

It was Jo who finally broke up the hello's by saying. "Come on everybody, let's all go back to the Roadhouse and the first round will be on me. We can all catch up there."

Dean smiled at the idea and could only reply "Sounds great..." Suddenly Dean felt a heaviness settle in and when it did Castiel was next to him wrapping his arm around his waist.

"What's wrong Dean."

"What about Sam?"

Dean turned in the direction that he was sure he last saw Sam. But the space was now occupied by bar being tended by his hunter friend Ash, who was busy wiping down the top, and where there had once been grass and shrubs. There were now tables and sawdust covered floors. Kevin Tran was seated at one of the tables, Dean with some uncertainty smiled at him. Still feeling guilty over how they had let him down. “Hey, Dean!” Kevin smiled

“Kevin, I....” Dean wanted to apologize again for everything that had happened before, with Gadreel and letting himself be duped. But, before he could get the words out, Kevin cut him off “Dean, it really truly is okay. You don’t have to apologize”. Dean smiled with affection at the young man.  
“By the way, Mom’s here and she can’t wait to see you too” Dean laughed at this. He remembered Kevin’s mom and she was a kick to be around. “Tell your Mom, I can’t wait to see her” 

Turning back to Cas, Dean asked again about his brother “Cas, what about Sammy.”

"Sam is going to be okay Dean. He is going to do as you had wished. He is going to take you home and he is going to give you a Hunter's funeral." Cas leaned in holding Dean even closer. He wanted this moment to be between them alone. "Hunters from all over will come to honor you Dean, and then Sam will take your ashes and keep some that he will wear around his neck in an amulet and the rest. The rest will be scattered with you Mom’s."

"Just like I asked"

"Just like you asked"

"And Little Dean and Eileen will be there right...for Sam?"

"Yes, they will be there. He is going to lead the hunters from the Bunker for a very long time. He is even going to see his great grandchildren grow up and get married."

Dean smiled at that and laughed "Great-grandchildren eh?"

"Yes, you both were correct in your assumption about the demon-blood. It has given him a little longer lifespan than most humans. But eventually his time will come and we all will be there for him when it does."

Dean smiled and felt the warm tears of happiness fill his eyes. "This Heaven thing is pretty cool Cas"

"Yes it is, Dean. Yes it is."

Dean turned and looked at Castiel and asked "What about you Cas? You weren't joking when you said you would stay? I know you are a helping out Jack now, but will you be able to come visit me? That is my heaven Cas. Me and you together."

“Yes Dean. We will be together for as long as you can stand to be with me. Though I may have business to attend to as an angel. You must know that I will always come home to you" Castiel leaned in for a kiss and before they could get to carried away the heard the deep voice of John Winchester boom out.

"All right. You two. Save that for later...we want to drink and Bobby, he won't do the toast until you get over here and grab a drink"

"All right. We are coming!" Dean turned and grabbed Castiel's hand and with one quick smashing of his lips on the angel's they turned to join everyone and grabbed their drinks.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free leave your thoughts about the last episode. Also, any thoughts about this alternative ending would be nice too.
> 
> Like I said above, this ending belonged to another story but I loved the fact that Sam was married to Eileen (changed the name from the original story to fit CE) with a kid and Dean had a long life, an ethereal relationship with Cas. And more importantly, at the end, Dean got his heaven with Cas and family included.


End file.
